Here to There and Back Again

Two years and a few months later, I am in a self-imposed rehabilitation. For one whom plays guitars, it has been a powerful journey enduring the loss of finger function. Being right handed, the left does the fingering on the fretboard. When the elemental basic index finger of that hand fails its functional ability, playing the instrument becomes near impossible. Logically speaking that is true after playing guitars and other stringed instruments for over 50 years, muscle memory is well ingrained into the activity of playing these instruments.

This finger began its decline gradually, showing up as stiffness and ever so slightly as painful. This occurred at the onset of playing only, a condition that would quickly fade through a song or two’s duration while warming up on any given day. Over a period of more than five months this condition progressively became worse. The associated pain was in the joint of the last digit as a focal point, yet it seemed to somewhat extend via the controlling tendons, well into the top of the hand. Another symptom that gradually developed was a clicking in that joint when flexing from the fully extended position. As the progression of these symptoms continued to increase, it began to ache after playing, then that too amplified over time. So it was late November of 2019, when I concluded to rest the finger for a few days, to see if it would reduce these symptoms. Letting a week pass without playing (a difficult issue with long standing desires and habitually playing daily) when playing again, the same conditions reoccurred. Initial stiffness and clicking in the, joint. This clicking had been and remained very faint. I’d have to hold my finger right next to my ear and flex it for it to be audibly noticeable. And again these symptoms receded rather quickly through playing a few songs. This time however, after ceasing play, the ache became much stronger. I concluded to rest the finger for a more extensive period, this time 3 weeks. It was Christmas day when I next played. This time the stiffness didn’t work out, yet I forced playing for 15 minutes, may be a half hour, before I concluded the situation to be intolerable. I concluded a further period of rest to be a requirement.

Resting the finger seemed impossible at this point. It truly hurt, near constantly, and engaging the finger for ordinary everyday function seemingly caused a furthering of its inflammation and severity of ache. I then tried splinting it, doing so for two weeks or more. At the end of this time the finger’s condition showed as much worse. I couldn’t bend the last joint but a few degrees, and it remained very sore. My grand passion had been removed completely, all ability to play music was fully gone. It was also winter in the north, where being outside is quite inhospitable.

By the onset of spring the pandemic had further altered life, not only was I unable to play music, quarantine conditions introduced an extended alone condition. Isolation with nothing to do, a bad, bad combination. But I thought to try playing a guitar one day, finding the same result as the previous attempt on Christmas day. I was devastated emotionally, but had to carry on in life, still without the things I know how to do and retain an ability for doing. Spine injuries previously stripped away the joyful activities I'd known in life, years before.

Watching a movie in May of 2020, the muse landed in my lap, presenting a new set of lyrics. I went to the piano, a cumbersome tool for me that was also limited by this finger issue. Now with a need to record at least a rough sketch of this new and forming song. I proceeded to do that very thing, it was difficult but possible, and I did it successfully, with the Old Cowpuncher’s Song being invented.

It was near this same time when listening to an old Muddy Waters interview that I found what he termed as the "Spanish" method of tuning a guitar, one of many open tunings that are used to facilitate playing with a slide. This seemed a novel concept. I have a very old parlor guitar, having a non-radius, flat fretboard. Thinking I should give this a try, I did. Within minutes I was playing and singing an old John Prine song, followed by yet another, and so on. Wow, over-joyed at the finding, playing music again, smiling face wide. Quickly however, I realized that this guitar was truly a poor candidate for this task. Soon there after the thought came of purchasing a dobro then tuning it with this same tuning scheme.

My march back toward playing had begun, a long journey had begun. A dobro arrived via a delivery truck one afternoon in June of 2020. Excitement found me opening the container, then the case, to view this instrument for the first time. After looking it over, and doing some further research as to properly tuning it in the recommended, normal dobro tuning, I did so. That was a standard G tuning which I had dabbled with on occasion with guitars. It was to me the same thing, a condition I preferred to avoid for guitars because of the limited flexibility toward my own musical preferences. I then tried tuning it as Muddy had done with his guitar as stated in that interview. With the dobro, this tuning worked but was less than satisfactory. The string gauge of the 6th string was inadequate to hold a D1. The string buzzed and rattled. Without a will to go out into public, or local stores, in the pandemic, and truly without a local vendor having access to custom strings like this. I then tried tuning with this same scheme one step higher finding a similar condition, and found I was unable to fulfill this previous hope. From there however, I did learn using finger picks and using my right hand with them, learning various picking patterns that I still use with guitar.

By July 2, 2020, I had pretty much concluded that there was little hope of a normal return to playing music, yet my own curiosity kept me looking at Craig’s List postings of musical instruments, when I saw what eventually altered the growing non-musical way that I was enduring at that time. There was posted a beautiful 1973 Martin D-35. Beautiful to look at in the least, and the price seemed reasonable to an extreme. On impulse, I wrote the owner, making arrangement to see it the following day, at which time I purchased the instrument. By the last week of August I got the instrument back from my luthier having some rather minor fixes performed. It was the days following having this instrument that I concluded to really learn to play with three fingers.

The injured index finger knew its place having been an integral part of playing all these years. Where it retained the ability to form the bar for bar chords, that was the limit of its functionality in playing a guitar. That last digit’s joint was by now regaining a slight percentage of its flexibility, yet retained its pain sensory nerves when engaged even a little bit. It seemed as though there was a club on my hand when attempting to play with that finger sticking out by itself, actually in the way. With these limiting conditions I began to play again, gradually, fighting it all the way. The brain knows how to position the hand for playing chords, but one way, with the index finger. It became a conscious task to remove the reflex behavior of muscle memory, filled with countless errors and countless alarming halts from excruciating pain from the automatic engagement of the index finger when attempting to play songs known well for years. So shocking it was that in mid stream of a song, the yikes sensation would be so strong as to fully wipe the memories ability to cognate where in a song the previous moment had been, causing a complete destruction of musical flow, dead stop. This reoccurring condition caused deep frustration at times, but that will to play music again would overcome. There were many occasions when these instances caused my putting the instrument down, with a sense of hopelessness sweeping over me. Yet I stayed with it, near daily, practicing, gaining, practicing, learning new ways to form chords, that I could no longer play with the same shapes used for decades. I gained enough that I found a return to recording possible. It remained that there were many limits to playing with a club finger on my hand, some of my songs were fully off limits. Still I was again playing music and somewhat back into a creative space.

The healing continued through this long period. I noticed that I could again place my finger tip on the fretboard, limited to the lower register strings only. Doing so however caused a degree of inflammation in the finger disallowing its use in that way for days. Eventually I recognized that recovery was increasing. I’d use the finger on the three lower register strings in a session, to awaken the following day with it being really stiff, and at night achy. By paying attention to these results, if I were to limit my use of the finger to use, upon occasion, maintaining minimal total use, I noticed further improvement and less ache afterward. This very slow process of very slow recovery continued through the summer of 2021 and into the fall, when I began stretching use to the higher register strings. At first just a little, then gradually increasing its use.

In December 2021, I could again use the index finger nearly the normal way. It would be stiff after and slow to react toward the many required placements demanded by play normally. I then found a reverse muscle memory issue happening. A lot of mental confusion in the brain, it would send signal to the wrong finger, having reached a degree of muscle memory in playing three fingered for more than a year. By early January I had recognized that normal play was again available. I consciously stopped playing in the three fingered way, to rebuild an old trusty method, realizing how fortunate I am that the finger, well the body can overcome. Being older means that recovery is much slower than when young, but it occurs none the less. The journey continues though. I still notice the mental confusion when playing through fast changes, playing lead phrases or simply performing quick chord changes. This journey is still continuing now. I still note some difficulties and some of those symptoms. I truly believe that I can fully recover, while paying strict attention to the symptoms, and reacting appropriately by giving it rest, and or not overdoing what my will wishes for, playing music. And the beat goes on….

House On a Hill Studio

House On a Hill Studio, is what I officially coined, as the name for my music production location.  Honestly the space is my living room rather than an elaborate decked out recording studio, with isolation booths, a control room to hold modern sophisticated systems for capture, to record and play-back audio signals.  This studio being in my living room, is the computer (running the Ubuntu Studio operating system) from which I write these words, having an external audio sound-card, several microphones and the wires to connect the parts together.  I spend most of my waking hours sitting on the office chair, looking at this desktop computer screen, doing what I do every day of my life at present.  Only some of the time spent here is dedicated to music production.  I was sitting in this chair while listening to a geology podcast this morning as I drank the morning’s coffee, looking through these windows at the snow that gracefully adorns winter’s white, now covering this part of the planet today.  It is quite cold out there at -17° C, at the moment, yet comfortably pleasant, I sit in this chair.  But I digress from the topic, House On a Hill Studio, originated as the name of a song I wrote many years ago.

Back in 2018 I began recording the song, "House On a Hill", but like so many, it fell from focus as one too many grains of sand on a beach, having yet to reach a completion as a song for others to hear.  Several days ago, it found its way back into my mind, then into a rejuvenating space, where its former recording status became a new beginning as a project.  At one time I played this song frequently, and I knew it well, yet that was many years yonder, as I look back at time.  Even so, it was written in this room where I am now giving it its due focus.  When I recorded it in 2018, it was purely conjured up from memory, which after working on what was then this recording for many hours, in trying to record its vocal track well, while singing with the lyrics sheet opened, I realized I had missed one verse completely.  The brain can show up as flawed, the memory back then had err.  Discovery of this situation led to having to start the process completely anew.

Thus yesterday I devoted most of my working at music with a new recording, one that contains all the lyrics.  Doing these recordings fully alone, my limits are well recognized as to the instruments I am capable of playing well enough to record them.  At present with the finger still an issue, guitar is really the only thing I am able to play with competence.  I use computer work-a-rounds for the remainder, most of that being in some form of MIDI.

I am quite sure that those whom have a well trained ear can near always recognize recordings that implement MIDI, as most of mine have, yet in order to break from this use, requires one of two possibilities. The first being myself learning to play all the instruments I intend for the music I write and compose, or two, finding associates that will fill in for the spaces where I lack personal ability.  I really don’t see the latter happening for reasons I need not explain here.  The point being that I know MIDI is somewhat inferior, lacking flex, humanity itself, and fully frowned upon by "the music industry," & "musician unions"; etc., for their justified reasons, yet those are conditions outside my own personal realm.  I have all these songs that I wish to share with the world, and in that, MIDI’s use can help me achieve the goal.

So I was able to import the midi bass track from the previous incomplete composition, as a basis to begin the new recording.  I then used the written lyrics as a separate template to work from.  It was the lyric sheet itself that had brought the flaw to my attention, because I had discovered that forgotten verse in an attempt to mark positions in the edit view (of Ardour Audio Workstation) recording to correspond workstation positions with positions in the vocal lines.  This is very helpful in finding track progress for playback, while editing recordings.  The structure of the music is quite recognizable in doing this, where as looking at the written poetic verse is seen for its story, rather than its structure, at least to myself.  Having discovered the structure in the process, I decided to use it strictly in the process of recreating the MIDI bass track.  I noted that there were four verses with a strict form, a middle section that I can’t call a chorus or a refrain, but it has a unique structure repeated once, followed by a variation in that structure of the other four verses.  Using the structure as a basis made the process of creating an accurate depiction of the lyrical phrasing to make the MIDI bass track, seem both accurate and quickly completed.  With this in mind, I went on to the drum track (using Hydrogen), where again, after writing out each individual drum kit section, equal to the lyrical patterns, this too came together quite quickly as compared to my struggles of the past.  I suppose one could say I am continuing to learn new tricks.  I should add that I know I have many more lessons to learn along this path. I then listened to the two, at least rough tracks simultaneously noting them as complementary before moving on to phase next, the vocal and guitar tracks.

First of all I had to actually play and sing the song to the MIDI tracks in order to verify that my thought of charting was actually true.  The next issue is based in my inability to use or read written sheet music, although for me, it is not an issue, it is a life long way of doing things.  My process is to make a rough track for each part simultaneously, allowing the bleed through.  That is why I called it rough.  I then recorded that rough track, putting the vocal and the guitar on a single track   This then can eliminate mental lapses while recording final tracks, of which I seem to have many at times in recording.  The vocal lyric and or the guitar assisted by the position markers of edit view in the computer window, all help to allow knowing where in the song I am while recording.  Generally this is not needed, yet there are moments in the process, while having to keep a mental picture of so many parameters of the process in every moment, when this is quite an assistance.  That is my process in the least.  Yes it would be much better to have someone to assist with the entire process, I believe that would be termed, a recording engineer or producer, yet I do it all alone right here sitting before this computer screen.

With some luck I may soon  have a complete recording of House On a Hill to work with in the mixing process.  But that is in what I hope shall be the near future.  Time and experience shall tell what actually happens.  I’ll happily continue in the process, where sometimes it all aligns throughout the process.  Then there are the other times, such as yesterday, discovering a brain fart overlooked for 3 years, then changing the course taken.  It is a fun and unique adventure that I seem to love.  House On a Hill, the song and the studio, over time, it is, and will be, me hopes (wink).

Space Between

Listening and watching time go by while living life.  I realize it has been a long dry spell from writing here, yet within that lapse of time I have written a song.  I went as far as to begin writing a piece about that writing experience, that was then never completed.  Music remains high in my list of interests so I work at it every day for the most part.  There are days where I fail to touch an instrument though.  A couple of weeks ago life took me another direction with a dose of the flu bug.  I am still here! 

I have just begun playing and singing again post bug.  It seems I need more practice to stay and be in that magic space, than what used to be true.  The older brain seems to forget lyrics or even timing for moments.   In playing music, moments are all there is and we hope that it will flow smoothly, all while realizing the humanness of being.  Sometimes it works and sometimes, not so much. 

Last night I listened to some of my recordings still incomplete, just a review to jog the memory, seeing the names, hearing the various parts, and enjoying the experience.  It is somewhat exciting to hear some of these songs.  I am referring to songs that you have not heard.  Their representations are being created so that you may one day hear them, they are many and I can but hope I am able to complete this project.  Over this past fall and winter I experienced some very serious physical problems that forced me to stop playing the guitar for weeks at a time.  I made some changes to hopefully allow those neurological problems to fade away. 

Here in this room where I live most of my life, I am now again looking at what is only a very rough outline about writing the last song I wrote.  This song now has the name, Ode to Your Heart.  Now that I am looking back on the songwriting experience from such a long gap in time, that experience is rather blotted out, covered by the experiences since then.  January 18, 2018 was the day this song was created.  I must have had an unusual state of mind on this particular day, because, as this outline says, this song was deliberately written rather than it being a spontaneous response to impressions that come in thought, as though the universe is talking and I hear it, which leads to capturing those images, my normal way of writing.  For some time before this day, a period of maybe a couple of months, I had an idea about a song, yet without any type of structure at all.  It was the idea of using a womans name in a song.  The name I had concluded would have to be somewhat light, sweet, maybe lilting, I didn’t really know, the thought was one of more image than substance.   The character behind the name completely lacks meaning of any kind. By choice I decided that were this the name of a person I had any association with, ever, that name would be disqualified.  Thus on the day in question, the name came to me.  I should say a name that became the name used in this song.  Lilyan is the name. 

Soon after the name was realized, I came to the computer and began to write.  As is almost normal the song pretty much wrote itself.  I was present, aware and altering the words on the page.  They flowed smoothly into place.  I recall fighting with spelling the word, eerie.  Me and the dictionary in all of its forms, are less than good friends.  Yet I depend on spell check, for without that, you would not survive reading the attempted words.  The structure began as two verses and a chorus.  Actually these two parts seem to differ in apparent subject, while it is assumed that usages of the female name and the word 'she,' represent the same character.  After completion and review, I decided to begin this song with the chorus, then end it with the same.  I wrote this first, having previously just decided what the name would be.  I started with that word, Lilyan.  Lilyan, I found you, but then I changed that to: Lilyan, you found me, I was walking.  Actually here it does take the assumption I mentioned and voids that thought’s credibility entirely.  What wound up being the first line of verse, after several changes and shifting of its three and four word phrases, the verse evolved into, "I awoke the morning, sky an eerie dark, felt it crying, oo, oo, ooo..."  Yet I lack having an actual cognition of where that line came from, I mean the subject expressed.  Seemingly it has everything to do with the character speaking in first person.  The line sort of sets an overall tone which seems dark in nature.   Furthering the dark expression, I  stated  her to be missing, without any reference as to where or how this happened.  The expression then takes on the concern of those whom are affected by this missing status.   The second verse takes this expression deeper into this status of a missing person.   The song lacks any resolution to the conflicted, leaving the audience without any conclusion, then chorus repeats to close out the lyric.

I really should have taken the time to write this out when that described here in was fresh in real time.  So it goes.

****************post edit****************

February 4, 2020

The song Ode to your Heart has now been recorded and posted on the website, https://thomasepeterson.com/mp3/Ode-to-Your-Heart.mp3 

A New Song About Songs

Very odd circumstances can sometimes culminate in the creation of new songs. I had one of those experiences a while back. It was late morning, following breakfast, with the lingering of a kitchen mess drawing my attention toward clean-up, that I now note as the beginning of this unfolding. The house was still, in the quiet after going through the morning’s ‘catching up’ on the supposed news. Outside the wildfire smoke was intense enough that the windows were all closed up for my intension to keep the concentration of particulate out, increasing the silence within. I thought to change the ambiance by adding some music to sooth my mind as I began the task ahead. Turning on my computer’s music reproduction software, I contemplated the play-list displayed, a remnant of yesterday’s listening to old Neil Young albums. In that moment with the last two tunes of his Zuma album (from 1975) cued up and waiting while my desire wanted something different, yet these two songs could play without disrupting my mood. Still the task in the kitchen required greater duration of time than these two songs could cover, but what to set forth? I wanted something different, something other than playing through the set order of recorded albums. My usual method for selecting a play list is, calling up artists, looking through album names, then choosing among the albums in the data base. Instead of following this procedure, I chose to enter words into the search box. Happenstance guided what followed, in the search box, I typed the words, “hard times.” The database parsed out 11 artist names, in the ordered list containing those two words. I added the titles to the play list, clicked the play button, then back to the kitchen to begin washing the dishes.

With this musical set list now filling the space, I began the dish washing process. At least three days of dishes had accumulated since the last washing, yet the quantity was minimal. I waited for the sink to fill, adding the liquid soap, placing the neatly arranged bowls into the steamy water, while noting the music that set the mood, pleasant in its familiarity. That washing, rinsing, and placing of clean tableware into the drainer began in its normal manner as the second song, the last track of Zuma began. I’d not listened to this in years, it sounded like CSN&Y (I later looked into this to find that all of those guys participated in the recording). My thoughts flipped about, influenced by the music and the activity. As the name themed song titles progressed, my thoughts swayed to the influence, the singing of songs about hard times. By the time the list had tracked through and to Woody Guthrie’s song, "Hard Times," I began considering that all these songs are derived out of the historically hard times that these authors had lived through, or at least knew something of. With the influences of these various hard time themes reflecting in my thoughts, combined with my own ever present quest of creating new songs, I began considering a tale based in songs about hard times. The Guthrie song, being one from the Library of Congress Recording sessions, includes a conversational narrative portion of some duration. It was during this narrative that my mind skipped past the spoken, allowing a phrase of my own to build about songs of hard times. Looking back now, it seems as tho, Woody’s statement about the many songs he knew about hard times, must have influenced my trajectory of thought. So many songs about hard times. I’d just listened to many other songs with the theme, hard times. Everybody’s singing songs about hard times. All these people sang songs of hard times, so why not write a song about a few people who wrote songs about hard times, inclusive of something specific to their author. With the dish washing completed, I moved back to the computer to write out the idea.

Since I had concluded this topic viable for a song, I set upon writing the theme. I immediately wrote what is a sort of chorus, having six lines specific to the general theme, singing songs about hard times, then I went back to the music program to revisit the individual songs that sparked the idea. I began with Woody Guthrie, to derive the respective theme expressed in the song. There in I wrote a verse having to do with Mr. Guthrie. I went down the play-list revisiting all the tunes and researching to discover the author whom wrote these songs, rather than the recording artist listened to, for clarity in addressing who actually created the themes I'd been experiencing. From that point on, the process was quite simple, mechanical really, although it was inspired of my own passion.

Now, in reflection, I realize that this song came about through my deliberate attempt to write a song. This is a different methodology from the usual method I employ. More often than not, my own experience in creating songs has shown up through what I consider as the song finding me, or the universe gave it out, allowing me to catch it due to being receptive, which is not what happened during this song's creation. It worked out rather quickly, the writing and then establishing a musical theme that could support the lyrics. In truth, I believe I have found better songs through listening to that which is offered by the universe, than what this song amounts to. Even so, this was another song writing experience.

(Ben Bullington) The Friend I Knew But Never Had

(Ben Bullington) The Friend I Knew But Never Had

Today is days after the creation of another new song. Time seems to fly you know?  In this song writing experience, when reflecting on it, I can say it to be typical of writing songs, that being, it is always different!   The circumstances that surround the idea, and its sprouting into becoming a song, well they are unique to themselves, drawing from days now years ago, a time with a friend to watch good musicians play their own tunes.  I saw Merle Haggard that weekend.  The “Red Ants Pants Music Festival” If you go check it out, I'm pretty sure you will have a good time.  Really I am not here to talk about or promote the festival, because unlike the festival, this song is that which I did show up to write about, this song seems pretty darn good to me.  There is a very odd circumstance to tell here,  a connection between this song and the music festival.  On the morning that this song came, I'd received the mailing list announcement from the Red Ants Pants Foundation, telling about the upcoming summer show.  And it really is only some circumstance which led me to write this song.

Those years ago when I attended the Red Ants Pants Music Festival, one of the artists showcased was, Ben Bullington.  He was a gifted guitarist, singer, and song writer.  Since my introduction to Ben at the Festival, I did a simple search on that YouTube and found many very good samples of Ben and his music.   In there, I'd found one video that I especially appreciate, maybe because of my own, smidgen of a connection to the actual place, but the song and the setting with which the video contained it, has a memory that lingers still.   I found and turned on that video, that morning, after receiving the e-mail from the Red Ants Pants Foundation, to again view its content.  It was just the same as it was the last time I saw it. :)  Ben's song, White Sulphur Springs, beautiful to my ear.  Now Ben, he passed away a year or more ago, so I cherish the memories.  After its conclusion the song idea in words began to form.

With the recognition of what I wrote above, I then contemplated an idea which was forming.  The idea having to do with an abstraction about how we, as humans can be personally impacted by music, by songs, their lyric, or some of the lines there in.  None the less, it is seemingly quite a phenomenon that humans can form bonds in that manner, yet there it is, we do, it is real.  I think myself in some ways have felt as though I knew some songwriters through their music.  They were like friends, in that abstract way.  The lyrics formed up in acknowledgement of that friend like situation which comes up with individuals and song writers, or maybe it is just me, hmmm?? Friends that we never had came as a line.  Well I wrote four line stanzas, three of them, then tried another but the words didn't line up really, a line showed up yet it was incomplete.  I passed it by, although, I left it on the page, I then wrote I believe two more sets of stanzas, before I actually stopped to read what was there.  I looked at it knowing, its intent.

The content seemed a mess, yet there was a theme, based in the memory described above.  With the mouse I high-lite the third paragraph, grabbed and dropped it at the top, then moved what had previously been first putting it third.  Now the idea was clear, the song is about songs.  Its about what songs can show or do.  Songs are unique in that way pointing out a very specific topic.  It's powerful art.

I came to a halt at this point.  There were words forming up, they had that needed characteristic of meter, yet no music.  Through my own experience, it is seldom that I can continue writing words before having touched an instrument with a definite inspiration, but I had nothing.  It has happened previously, coming to a point where the muse seems to have fled the room.  In the past some songs I've stopped entirely, they still await their due completion, the song intended, but the song must contain it's initial inspiration to continue.  So I am stopped, I have thoughts of being influenced by the music of Ben's song, because it was the last thing I had experienced prior to the muse's stream, the stream I was following until now when away it went.  I had the '62 Gibson J-45 in my hand, its scarred face a unique portrait of its history, leaving cracks and a missing chip of spruce near where the sound hole nears the fingerboard on the upper front bout.  It's character, the injuries that happen.  Its sound comes out sweetly when finger-tips strike them just right.   A rhythm formed, as did the question of suitability for the lyrics on the computer screen.  Actually that particular rhythm sounded like something else, at least in a way, no I say, no!  More tries, left me feeling that I'm being forceful rather than flowing.  Maybe the muse is really gone?  Then it came together, just as suddenly as the words, voice engaged, struggling to read the computer screen.  I stopped adjusting the lyrics, larger, to large to fit in one desktop window, so I opened a new document, placed it beside the window of lyrics, copy and pasting the lyrics in the fresh window, then scrolling the second window to show the words hidden in that lower left, below the window's size limit.  Now with large sized letters I could read the words as best as I am able and back to the guitar and its fine sound with finger tips, but no, a pick will sound different, and a pick took the task.  I'd found a rhythm and a chord progression in C Major.  It is a long time since I've written a song in C.  It started coming together, but the tongue brain interface and alignment with the lyric in the cadence, as it often does, seemed like singing tongue twisters.  I believe this is a tempo issue, where a quick tempo rhythm forces the mouth to go faster and in strange ways while their order remains unknown in the brain.  And as normal for me when dealing with the unfamiliar, I tend to speed up, which makes the difficulty more of a struggle.  I had found this song, it was coming home.  I sang the first verse, then again, then the second a couple of times, struggling to form the words.  I could tell this was going to be one of those hard ones to learn.  I got through these first three verses to decide that the incomplete line I'd previously abandon, could form up a chorus, and I shifted the rhythm up a 4th to the F forming a chorus.  It was too short, being but two phrases, “the starry eyed, the story spun.”  The writer and the story he'd told.   Then a different kind of idea came, from looking above seeing a line already written.  Paste, instant gratification, it was a tie, connecting an earlier thought, that could become a theme.  I sang that a couple of times, still too short?  I left it again, to sing the next sets of lines.  The upper half of the song shows a distinct subject  of what songs bring in messages, if any.  I mean there are no real rules. This song says it is about songs by declaring, “Songs are sung,” also saying “songs are made.”  The point being that songs can do things to people, they stir up emotion of all kinds.  It is also saying that the author of a song is significant to the songs point of view.  The second half of the song, I say half although the second part is more lengthy than the first, the song shifts to the observer of songs, the point of view being the listener, having recognized a song as meaningful.  The song then concludes by recognizing that Ben has died and that his death has its own impact on individuals.  I know his death had a noted twitch in me, back when I heard of it.  That is why I gave the song it's oddly formed name: (Ben Bullington) The Friend I Knew But Never Had.  I have experience this situation with Ben, and now it is this song.  So Ben, I guess this song is for you, RIP.

In this moment, I've no idea when this song will have it's own recording completion. It could be days, or weeks. or month, even years away, if ever.  The song referred to in the previous post is of a song that awaited recording for a year and a half.  When it is finished, I'll make notice. 

Another October Day

Another October Day

I continue to work with the music although creating new material has not occurred for what seems an extended period of time.  Without creating new stuff, there is plenty left to do in the recording efforts I am intending.  Most days I work at it in some way how ever abstract it may seem.  Learning how to use the software remains a big part of the recording process, an obstacle in many ways.  Yet I am making progress.

Lately the bigger part of the learning process remains with drumming or drum imitation.  I am no drummer, never have been, nor do I believe I want to become one.  Still musically, with the type of music I have written and work with, as a whole, without drumming included, the overall sound produced reflects as half baked, incomplete.  So I continue learning the software of choice, or at least of known choice.  I admit that ignorance plays a large roll in the choices available to me, because of the isolated existence I live.  Hydrogen is the software I have been dealing with to make drum sounds that can complement my musical output.  I would much prefer having a real drummer which would allow having little personal effort where drumming is concerned, but a person who could fill that roll remains unknown to me.  Hydrogen then has taken on a really unwanted importance in the process.  I have been spending a lot of time tinkering with the program trying to figure out an ease to the methodology required in making this software work, producing complementary rhythms suited to the music I am attempting to achieve.  Some days it falls into place, and other days it seems quite a struggle for me to create suitable rhythms that will match the themes intended.  I don't know why?

Now a couple of nights ago I decided to take on a new recording of an older tune I wrote back in the mid to late 1990's.  I had previously attempted to record this song yet the syncopation in the rhythm is such that I was unable to determine the tempo.  I realized a couple of months ago, through teaching the song to my associate, that this situation comes of how I have played the piece solo, having to incorporate a dominant theme sourced in the songs essence.  In order to create this feel while playing the piece solo, I had to play a syncopated part which distorted what I thought or otherwise perceived as part of the rhythm, when in fact the playing of this syncopated part actually altered my perception of what the beat was actually doing.  It was actually an illusion, imposed by the way I was playing the piece when doing it solo.  When teaching this tune to the bassist, the way I played the song could be altered by allowing the bass to take the syncopated part, while I held to the basic continuous rhythm.  The two parts individually create the essence I had envisioned when I wrote the piece.  Having played it so many times by myself, the habitual nature of doing so prevented my brain from finding the separation of these individual parts.  It is an odd situation to attempt writing out with clarity.  Still, having finally determined that this syncopated riff distorted my sense of timing, I have been able to determine the tempo, I successfully made a draft recording of the song Wednesday night late. The process went along very smoothly, with its parts coming together in the digital world with a remarkable ease.  

My process of taking the idea and converting it into an audio file that reflects the essence of the idea rarely follows a given course, like taking steps 1, 2, 3, 4, … end.  This could be a demonstration of my ignorance, yet having no education or friends that show me a methodology, I am forced to make up my own methodology.  Generally step one is to determine the Tempo, followed by the Time signature.  After those are determined and input into the computer's software, in this instance "Ardour," (thanks and a shout out to the Ardour team), there are several options as to where to continue.  In this particular case, I chose to use the metronome of Ardour as a guide and with two tracks engaged, I recorded a guitar and a vocal track as rough drafts for a starting reference point.  After this is accomplished, I use this as a guide to facilitate creating an audio recording to share.  With the basic outlined in the rough recording, I can then create a solid midi bass track and a drum track, the order with which this is accomplished I decide arbitrarily.  Generally I will write out the bass line first, but in this case I decided to do the drumming first.  I chose to make it really simple in this instance, just a bass drum with snare and a riding symbol that expresses a basic beat.  Because it is software, the result can always be altered later if so desired.  I was quickly pleased with the simplistic rhythm I created, and leaving it simple for a start provided what I desired as an initial beat track that can hold the song in place as I worked through the process.  Having a basic drum track and the rough audio tracks, left the bass track to work up in midi.  Having played the song with only guitar for many years, I found it rather easy to write out the bass line and assign it an instrument representative, in this case acoustic bass.  

Having the basic tracks of the song now completed the first review with these 4 tracks hit me as quite satisfactory to hear.  However there was a noted error in the construction of the ending that required a rather involved redo of the bass and the drum tracks.  This issue was dealt with, creating the desired result.  The process also revealed some tempo drift in these rough audio tracks. This is common for me when using this method.  The metronome is a very good tool, yet it can and is easily overpowered when playing a rhythm beside it. Because of this and my own lack of ability in playing real instruments with absolute proficiency, I expect to redo the initial rough audio tracks. This is the next step in my process, recording solid audio tracks of instrument(s) and vocal part(s).  To facilitate the audio recordings, I rehearsed the guitar and vocal parts several times, beside the drum and bass tracks, ingraining the nuances of the various sections both lyrically and with the acoustic guitar.  I had chosen the Taylor guitar for this recording, its sound is quite exceptional, and it offers the opportunity to use two input methodologies, the analog and its internal electronics, separately.  I can recognize these two tracks as different when switching between the two sources, yet I have no real preference, nor have I determine which interface provides the better sound.  They are both good.  Having gone through these dress runs a few times I decided to make the recordings for these two parts simultaneously, knowing that I can always re-do them individually if I choose.  To my surprise The recording of these two parts came in one try with but one error in the lyric that required an edit.  I have experienced this process as troubling at times in the past.  It was easy to redo the vocal error with the punch-out capability of the software.  By the time these final audio input tracks were completed, the time was late, and I shut down the studio for the night.

The following morning shortly after happy coffee time was complete for another day, I found myself reviewing the previous night's work.  The audio recordings I judged to be very satisfactory, while noticing some conflict with both the bass and the drum tracks.  I spent a couple of hours editing those tracks.  The drum track especially needed work, it being simple actually created a very desirable result, but there were some sections that I thought wanted some emphasis with symbols.  That and the chorus sections were wanting of some variation from the main verse sections.  I did all I thought I wanted (for the time being) then went on to a different activity.  I have not yet released the recording,  because I want to get away from it for a while with a hope that a revisit later will bring some clarity to my judgment as to the songs essence.

************* post-edit *****************

February 4, 2020

The song referred to above has been recorded with a degree of success allowing it to be posted on the website. Time For Change

Call Me Honey

August 3, 2016 another song was created in the morning of my day. It was a typically odd circumstance which allowed these words and the subsequent music to come into being. Odd in that its initial spark came after adding a spoon of honey to my ritualistic morning cup of coffee. As I did the act of placing the honey into the cup and stirring it, these words spilled out in my mind, "I put some honey in my coffee." Then as I grabbed the cup, to take it back to my desk, an echo like phrase came, "I put some honey in my tea." Where these kind of phrases come from, while there is a lack of intention directed toward writing, remains mysterious to me. My intention was fully centered on gaining access to coffee, in order to again feel alertly awake in my morning. I admit I'm addicted to coffee regardless of any quality associated with this state of being. Sometimes I try to quit coffee and each time I find a rather equal result. I seem unable to awaken with any rapidity without it. So after several days of feeling half asleep, well past noon, and tiring of that situation, I go back to enjoying coffee in the mornings and waking up with some rapidity. I call it the elixir of life, although; I know that, in itself is a grand illusion.

Well after reaching my desk with the honey altered cup of coffee, and the lines in words becoming magnetic in my mind, I considered a question, can I actually bring these couple of lines into a document, to build upon them, or will the illusive potential fall short. In general making the decision can offer potential, where shutting this potential door will always disallow. I chose to reach for potential, opening the word processor.

I typed out the two lines sequentially, as they had originally come to mind. Then I thought I could alter the circumstance of the subject to create a fully different meaning. Rather than it being a narrative in a singular person I could create a second person, where I chose to insinuate a couple in their comparative actions, drinking hot beverages in the morning. It implies that these two individuals are sharing the same space. It also tends toward word play, by introducing a synonym in this introductory section of verse. The following line brings a context that places the two into a relationship situation, "I call you Honey in the morning," with it being a proper noun in this instance rather than the noun for that sweet substance created by our friends, the honey bee. The line following, addresses the insect and how they can be going about their lives as something that us alert humans have a capacity to observe. I followed these four lines of verse with a different kind of cadence, which offers a musical shift, to create distinct separation. The subject of this second part, demonstrates an observance of the changing nature of our civilization. Having made these two distinct sets of rhythmic cadence, I took these two as templates in their form, and wrote out three more sets of each of these patterns. I struggled in the process some, yet I was able to avoid the mental blocks that sometimes come while writing. There was no preconceived idea to reach for as to the subject. At one point I wrote a couple of lines that took the intended mood in a negative direction. I read through them, deciding that I really didn't want to go toward the doom and gloom in this piece, where as I deleted those ideas to replace them with something more positive.

When I got to a potential end point, I got out the guitar and developed a pattern of chords that seemed to fit the melodic ideas that had been creeping into my thoughts as I wrote the words. Even the key to which the melodic thoughts came to me fit. This is a rare circumstance for me as my musical thought patterns seldom reflect as "in pitch" and I have to deal with transposition from the ideas into workable playable music. Thus the music side of this creation was a very easy process to pass through. This song was near complete. I then successfully set out to record a rough draft to prevent my forgetfulness robbing from the essence of this new creation.

Having completed the saving of this new song in a very rough form, I set out to instill it into my mind through repeatedly playing and singing the words. It can sometimes take a lot of practice, using the printed lyric as a guide to actually be able to sing and play a new creation. There are some instances where how one expresses the syllables allowing them to fit with the rhythm and melody in the music, (I call this act "syllablization," even though this may not be a real word). In this process I recognized that some of the originally written words could be improved upon in order to facilitate a stronger cadence in expressible structure. There were several lines in the individual B parts that were clumsy, so I altered the original words to emphasize cadence. I am now much happier with how the lyrics flow, having practiced the song enough to find it can flow with an ease.

While practicing singing and playing this song the time came to look at its entrance and its exit. The entrance seemed to be whole, as is, by going through the melodic rhythm pattern of the A parts, to be followed by simply adding the vocal after its first time through. The ending at this point remained with a need of consideration. So during one of these early on practices when finishing the vocal section followed by an empty tag line, an odd idea formed. I actually don't quite know how to describe what it is with accurate specificity. What I chose to do is something like this: in single notes finger picked, I went up a couple of octaves, playing a descending pattern that descends the chord's notes, "1, 3, 5," though not necessarily in that order, then ascending it back up, all within the frame of one measure, followed by dropping a half step and repeating. This pattern repeats again another whole step down, descending down by half steps, it resembles a cascading sequence, dropping to the songs conclusion.

As time passes, I will work toward making a conclusive representation of this work in a well done recording and post it on my website http://thomasepeterson.com.

Expanding into the drum-like

It seems that this music I make has, as an end result been incomplete as a solo artist.  I am referring to the sound of one man, one voice, and one guitar, set within a slice of time.  In other words, as an individual I have been unable to create the sound I know this music could attain were there others participating in its delivery.  The limits of the individual comes to the forefront as hindering.  The past few years I have taken to recording this music in a Linux Digital Audio Workstation (DAW) that employs a multi-track capability.  The system further allows its potential to fill in the gaps that this limited, one person, with but two hands and the single brain can produce in any singular instance.  Where as I would prefer to create the music with a group of individuals, I lack this said group of musicians within my circle of acquaintances and friends.  For several years I have been writing midi tracks that simulate having a bass player beside me (or other instruments).  It is pretty good at filling that piece of a rhythm section.  Although it is helpful the result of recordings that use this capability have continued to be rather hollow sounding.  I can build layers through singing harmony vocals beside my main vocal track.  I've also recorded differing guitar or mandolin riffs that can provide additional depth to these pieces.  Still the end result of these works has never been fully satisfying to my ear.  I have known this lacking to be the absence of percussion.

One of the many qualities that working with a robust DAW is its flexibility.  Similar to the work of learning to use the midi functions for creating bass, string sections (individually), and or horns or horn sections, I have recently taken advantage of learning how to make percussion instrument sounds that can be added to the recordings.  The results are changing the overall sound I spoke to above.  It has been a challenge to learn what drumming is really about in its musical sense, because though I have listened to drums throughout my life, even enjoyed the sounds they make while contributing to their respective pieces of music, I've not taken the time nor had an interest in learning or studying percussion.  This has changed. 

I am now past the stage of wading to ankle deep into the rhythmic part of drumming and stepped off a ledge into the deeper waters where what I have heard is coming to be something I know at least a little bit more about.  The software I am using for percussion is called Hydrogen.  It employs a rather logical system to create patterns in drumming on a time line.  It is very similar to that of written musical score, in that it has a time-line that consists of a duration, flexibly set to coincide with the time signature and tempo of the piece it is synchronized to (the multi-track recording software package in the DAW, in this instance Ardour).  I am still far from being expert at the use of this part in the music puzzle, yet it is really providing good results.  There is yet a lot to learn about drumming as a whole.  I am still finding it shocking to discover the seemingly odd timing that is required to create drumming patterns.  I do so love creating music! 

**************Edit**************
I've added an example of a this drumming technique here: Bomb Train

In This World So Blue

Over a week ago now, I wrote and composed another song. The universe threw it in my face so to speak, so I took the initiative and wrote it up. It was another of those late morning moments after, the coffee, the breakfast, and viewing the news had finished for the day. A tune came into my head, from my reminiscing on days gone by, thoughts of a Hank Williams III song, “5 Shots of Whiskey” (from Love Sick, Broke & Driftin') came in. So, I called it up on the computer for another listen. I have heard this song many times, and I like it. In the moments I'd call 'the afters,' you know, during that little space of time where the event has just past, yet our thoughts have a way to linger briefly, hanging on to a fragmented moment, focused on a related thought. I told myself, self, you have not written a drinking song. It happened in a moment while walking into the bathroom to lose some of the coffee. The words “Give me a drink, now this one's five,” came in, having a direct correlation to Hank's song, with the lyric, “Give me five shots of Whiskey...” In the least I can tie this thought to having just listened to those words, and the genre similar to the thoughts of melody, my head is also set in one of those slow sad-sap country beats, but that was as far as that similarity goes. By the time I had made my way back to my desk several lines of rhyme in this theme had transformed into some substance making sense in its way. Now in a second look, the subject is also similar to Hank's, man, telling the story, the subject of the story, a women, and love lost. Put it together and it caused heart ache. I did have to sort of work at these words, though it came pretty quickly. It came out nearly as spontaneously as growing hair, well faster than that by a lot.

This song is different from any that I've done previously in how it has a tag line at the end of each verse. That is a method I have never used before. When I wrote it, I thought it a rather powerful technique to use. And it works really well at holding the song together, so well that it can be doubled or tripled up (if so desired) and works giving elasticity to the lyric until I finally determine what this songs finish product will look like.

So the story line is of, I'll say a guy, likely because I am, and since I sing the song, it only makes sense for the character to be a guy. The guy is at the bar, probably a bar fly type that often drinks at the bars, it is familiar territory, and this person feels comfortable barking out orders to the bar-keep. “Give me a drink, now this is five, and I think that this'll help me stay alive,” is the opening lines in the lyric. Then he goes on thinking aloud about how down he is and how long it has been this way. As I said it's sad-sap lyrics. The verse ends with the tag line, “I'll come around, look what I've found, in this world so blue.” The second verse begins similar to the first, the guy barking out another order to the bar-keep, though using simple addition, this time the drink is number six, and it rhymes with tricks, so it works. I can't give it all away right now! Anyhow, this verse goes on by adding to the details of being down compounded by being drunk while longing for that now 'lost' lover, and how feeling this way is habitual for this individual, and again, the verse ends with the tag line.

The chorus deals in its subject with how the two had become friends that eventually led to being lovers. Its description is brief with some imagery of cars under the stars, and that it is this magnetism that creates the fond memory and its melancholy.

The last verse goes toward the imagined conversation between this person and the bar-keep, because of the potentials of driving while intoxicated. The guy tells him that he won't drive very far if he goes, just a couple of blocks at best. But the drunkenness takes the thought back to the desire for the drinks and the hope that the woman will return. Then again the tag, followed by another chorus.

In the week since writing the lyrics composing and recording a rough draft of the tune, I've played it several times becoming familiar with its cadence and putting the lyric in my brain (the real hard part of the process). In the times going through this song I have decided that chunks of lyric though written correctly were out of sequence. By moving a few blocks of text to different positions in the lyrical progression, I improved the over all image that these lyrics seem to want. I may not be finished with changing the songs details. The details in imagery are what evokes thought in the audience, that is my goal sometimes as a song writer. This is not so much the case in this particular song, because it is another silly sad-sap song. I do think that recognizing the potential of this particular technique, using a tag line is pretty significant in the evolution of writing lyrics as a craft. This kind of song writing is pretty much outside of my normal folk tune, by quite a lot, and that is okay with me.

This song can now be listened to at the website if you choose In This World So Blue. It is sort-of a country blues piece.

Awaken, another new song!

The birth of another new musical tune, and song came my way again today. As the days in living progress these songs and their lyric, inspired by the universe, I'd say due to having no other form to pin the inspiration upon, seem to form into units containing what I consider as having higher quality in its overall result. The reason for this is likely the experience gained over the years, creating my own songs in my method or it might be chance? What ever allows it, this brings to bare a sense of personal satisfaction.

For the sake of this writing and the theme of the blog, the trigger for writing, if known, should be stated. Quite like the previous posting about the song Bomb Train, this was also influenced and triggered in watching Democracy Now. Thank you Amy Goodman! I truly think this is more a general circumstance than anything other. Yet the same kind of scenario that brought out Bomb Train, occurred again this morning. I know I have been harboring the will to write this song and its general content for some time now, without actually having taken any steps to bring it into being prior. I guess this actual subject had not been clear in my mind before the words began forming upon my typing them into the word processor.

This lyric came in the form of what is the first line of the song, “Wake up, we can awaken today.” With it came a piece of what is now a melodic shape, though brief and truncated from its now complete form. The general theme is the state of humanity and the racial injustice and inequality that is so pervasive both here in the United States of America and in most locations where there are separate cultures, races and belief systems in contact, one with the other(s). I consider this representation in the human condition one that will one day fall into the past. As humans, the struggles that groups create, based in their own fears, and their own prejudices, serves to retard our potential to be better both as individuals and as groups having commonalities in sharing our home planet. It is sad really.

So I wrote two lines out in the computer, then having that melody forming internally, I grabbed a guitar, quickly finding the key and shape of it in a rhythmic form, set in a 3/4 time, and sang those lines, I then repeated the process to attempt capturing its entire essence. Succeeding at that, I shifted back to the computer and wrote another few lines, using a similar form as in the first line. That is with an opening two word statement, followed by an expansion on that statement, or a further clarification on what the statement represents. I completed 4 lines using that form. For the following verse, I chose to alter that theme a slight bit, reducing the introductory statement to that of a single word. Again I repeated this shape, writing 4 lines with this form.

I then got an idea of breaking from a traditional song shape or form. Most generally, folk type songs follow a pattern similar to: verse, verse, chorus, verse, chorus... I wanted to attempt something different as a form of musical structure for this song. Having now constructed to verses of a consistent meter, the next set in verse would take on a differing meter, slight though distinctly altered. The metered lines in this part are unlike that in the first two verses. The single and or double word introduction to the line was dropped, allowing the lines to be broken in two segments, having two measures each or being that of a single line taking on the entire four measures. When it had taken form in the digital space before me, I again switched to the guitar and fooled with a form that would complement the original, while bringing it out in the 3. rather than the 1. Thus as the key for the original verses is a G Minor, this second stanza is in a C. Having a simple understanding of music theory, I can barely understand that this song is in a minor key, but only because of the use of an A minor, and the E minor, in the progression. I finished fitting out the chord structure in this second part, then returned to the computer keyboard to write out more content.

Again with the thought of breaking with tradition, the following section I decided would take on another musical shape and meter. This part is set in E minor. Another set of four lines formed up. They are somewhat representative of the second shape or second part of the song in that the original structure, of an introducing word, or two, followed by a complementing element was dropped entirely. These lines are also split in the middle, having a duration of two measures, followed by a second part having two more measures to make up a line. An exception is the fourth line carries the entire four measures, and is a summarizing statement Similar phrasing is also done with single phrasings that carry through the entire 4 measures.

With this much complete, I considered that the song's lyric was finished in that it said all I wished to express. None the less it was rather brief in total duration, having played and sung it along the course of its construction. So if naming the four verse like pieces of this song with each containing four lines, the first and second sets are the first part. The third set is the second part and the fourth set is the third part. I concluded a way to bring more length to the song would be repeating the entire four sets of lines but in a different order. Having reached the end of the writing or the fourth section (third part), it is followed by a repeat of both the third and fourth sections (second and third parts). This is then followed by what would be a break where the melody returns to that of the beginning of the song. The break is short in duration and is followed by a repeat of the first two sections (first part, a1 and a2) of lyric, with which a conclusion is reached with the repeat of the last line.

I successfully recorded a rough version of the song, a method of preservation because my aging brain has a way of loosing these ideas while they are young, where as not recording them leads to a differing kind of struggle. One that is hopeful of somehow recapturing that which was.

 *************Edit***************

I have added a new fully redone recording of this song, ''Awaken,''  April 1, 2020 http://thomasepeterson.com from at thomasepeterson.com

Bomb Train

Yesterday morning, early in my day as I started my normal routine (if in fact I have one), I began watching Democracy Now on the computer. Amy was going through the details of the daily headlines, the story was about another oil train exploding, this time in Mount Carbon, West Virginia. The programming showed the video a fireball raising upward into a cloud covered snowy sky and an observer obviously frightened by the intensity of the explosion. Seeing this triggered recent thoughts of this very subject as the theme of a song. I have been carrying around the idea since last summer, yet until today it remained solely as an idea. By chance, the previous night I had watched an episode of the early 1960's television show ''Rawhide'', who's musical theme seemingly remaining in the forefront of my consciousness, obvious to me now, came to mind. Those words, ''rollin, rollin rollin,'' popped into thought, in its musical form. The words can logically describe the movement of a train, and the musical theme in that very brief stanza in music formed solidly immediately followed by a differing stanza retaining that rhythm, yet entirely original. A phrase of ascending notes, followed a similar phrase of descending notes. This event happened in a time span of seconds and I immediately realized this could be the song. I grabbed the computer mouse, pausing the news video in play, followed by the opening of a word processor and began to write. ''Rollin', rollin', rollin', when the bomb trains come rollin, on into your town...” and continued, words quickly coming into place, telling a new imaginary story about the observance of an oil train passing by, the observer stopped behind a blocking railroad crossing gate, awaiting the train's passage. A poetic description of how it could be to be forced from the intended path by a railroad crossing gate and the train rolling by directly behind it. I think on that scene now, although imaginary, I painted it up pretty well, the hearing of the train horn, the wheels striking the joints in the steel track causing that distinct sound and waiting there in a state of limbo or in a position of being on hold. From there the story goes on tho the threat these oil trains pose in real life, to anyone who might happen to be near one of these exploding bomb trains, in which the story line concludes that the train will explode when it reaches ''downtown.'' I stopped somewhere after writing out the first half of the verse, 4 lines of rhyme, to grab a guitar to compose this music that was now rather clear in my minds eye.

The music created is in the key of E minor, in 2/4 time, in a fast moving tempo of 194 BPM. It begins quite like the theme of ''Rawhide,'' only long enough to get through those three words, creating a brief illusion that will bring up memories to the listener of that theme song, but then with a brief walk-down conclusion of that stanza, the ascending phrase takes hold, altering this illusion of known, into what will be unknown to the listener. I decided to make the first half of the verse, those four lines, in the key of E minor, then the following second half of the verse being different, in the key of A minor. This half concludes resolving back to a similar resolution as the first half, that is a B7th which follows a F# , making a somewhat apprehensive shape in its musical presentation.

Having now at least somewhat formed the complete musical theme, I put the guitar back down and went back to the keyboard, writing out more lyrics. I went back again to the introductory stanza, rollin', rollin', rollin', adding a complementary phrase, bomb train to it, as though it were a following tag, then went on to another verse. Along the course of the process, I went back and forth between writing and review while playing guitar and singing these new lyrics. The purpose being that of integrating the music into my memory while analyzing the lyric for meter and rhyme. Along the course in process, I became stumped to rhyme a particular line closing word that seemed important enough to retain rather than replace. I did something new to me, I used a search engine asking it for a rhyme to this word. To my surprise I found website, new to me rhymes.net, which provided a solving of the word in wanting. Later in the process, I came to another desire for finding rhyme and tried the website again without having a successful conclusion. I was however able to find a rhyme after some thought, and on I went.

With the concluding verses of the song I had the desire to make this work hold some historical significance. Having no actual factual information on hand, I did another web search finding several instances in fact, of locations where oil trains have exploded in recent history. There are surprisingly and sadly, too many to choose from. I found several names of communities, cities or towns, wrote them down, along with the human death count from a specific location and disaster. I incorporated these names and figures into the lyric, giving the song historical reference.

I concluded the song as I started it, back to that opening theme, including the complementary, ''bomb train'' phrase, again followed by those ascending/descending stanzas. In the end, I practiced playing and singing the song for a long time, then made a rough recording to hold the song. My memory is really getting leaky.

**An edit addendum**

I have added a refined recording of this song and video, mp3 page of my website: www.thomasepeterson.com