This question plagues me relentlessly as I work with my music. On occasion I review my previously published tunes, only to think, how could I have thought this was good? I have a friend whom has a weekly local radio show that I seldom listen to because I rarely listen to radio. On this particular day I did remember at the "right time," and chose to turn on the radio stream. The moment I clicked the listen button, he was in the midst of announcing one of my tunes, yet that specific moment was after he’d referenced the track title and source, allowing my surprise upon hearing those first few notes, but that is not the point. It had been a long time since I reviewed the recording and I found it quite a shock to hear. What I had once considered to be quite acceptable, now sounded horrific to my ear. I was stunned, and after the show’s conclusion, I called my friend to thank him for playing my music. I then told him that I thought it sounded horrible, and he replied, "it sounded good to me!" That damn personal critic is one of the things that I find difficult to deal with. Soon there after, I went to work to alter the sound that I found so harsh in that song, in order to replace its content on my website.
What is quality music anyway? I somehow don’t think my opinion of it changes very much over time. Although, my opinion may change, isn’t it all subjective, without regard to whom questions? I think the situation is one of loosing objectivity upon becoming immersed in a project, to evenly critique in the short term, due to personal attachment, after the countless hours of putting it together with an intention of doing it well. As humans possessing a determination in music, we would naturally seek to present it in the best form possible. I know on occasion I have found myself displeased upon review of some of my works, after a long period of time has passed.
I don’t know what it requires to overcome the uncertainty that now arises when reaching for finality in a recording. So I test out my suppositions without knowing what or if there is a real quantifiable method for evaluating a recorded musical piece, or song. The subjective nature of it will likely continue along with the changes of style over time. Yesterday I concluded that I could mix a song differently a countless number of times hoping to know that what I’d done would provide an answer, only to find the same issue looking back at me. What is good? I don’t know how to quantify good in order to know, so I fiddle with slight degrees of alteration in the equalizer of a single track, or maybe bump a fader up a ting or down a smidgen, in another, purposefully, all while hoping to eek out a better result. I listen to it to find it different, yet question the value in what I hear. Finally in conclusion, without any true understanding, having only a hint suggested by my momentary preference. Lacking this understanding takes me to, it is what it is and I don’t actually know with anything other than subjectivity what can make it sound better. Because I don’t know what better is, with frustration in the process, I posted the song to the website. Then again later, while working on another song that was at the same juncture of final mix, I again faced the same situation. I still find it quite a puzzle and I sometimes feel stuck. To stop at stuck is unlikely to produce results, so I proceed into phase next questioning my understanding of what makes a recording as good as it can be. More substantial, is it good enough?
I guess I have to guess, knowing that a personal bias will always exist. Still I desire to remove this situation that seems like an endless loop that shall continue eternally. And then still, maybe some epiphany or something other will create a space allowing my ear to know. Conversely, it could be that a long recess is required in order to recognize the difference, after working at a specific project for long consecutive periods of time.
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